don't let love turn into relationship

Sir, love turning in to a relationship has its repercussions in my life.

someone asked & then iis saying that love has turned into a relationship and it is having repercussions in her life.

First of all, it is wonderful that you have understood a very fundamental truth, which is that, whenever anything turns into a relationship, it goes bad. Whenever anything turns into a relationship, it goes bad.

I understand what I am saying is a little puzzling but stay with me and remain attentive. Love is a particular quality of relating. It is right now. It is not the concept of the mind, it is something absolutely new. It does not happen because you had thought about it; there is no background to love. That is why when it happens; it throws you off your feet. Those of us, who have had a taste of love, understand what I am saying. Because it is something which is not planned, because it is something which is not premeditated, because real love is not a thought or conceptual, that is why when it comes, it comes as a fresh breath of air. May be I am understating; it actually comes as a tornado that sweeps you off your feet. Now, that is love, that is something new, something fresh. It just happens, it’s just a surprise. You have not planned that I must fall in love with that fellow. That’s why it rejuvenates. You discover that you are young. It’s so beautiful.                                                                                                                                                    

What happens to this love? Now, this love which had a fresh quality of relating, we give it a particular name it and we turn it into a relationship and relationship is always dependent upon the past.

Understand the difference between love and relationship. Love is fresh; relationship depends upon the past and is very limited. The moment you declare that I have a particular relationship with somebody, you already have a concept in mind.

Love is not a concept but husband and wife are a concept. The moment you say that somebody is my wife or somebody is my husband, you already know what that relationship means. Now it is dead, absolutely dead. Somebody has said that lovers die and on their corpses husband and wife are born. It’s only when lovers are dead then the husband and wives arise.

Because love cannot have a name, love is not a fixed relationship but our mind, our poor little mind; it cannot tolerate the freshness of love. It has no power to live with the freshness and uncertainty of love. So, what does it do? It says that lets give a name to our relationship. Let’s formalize our agreement, let’s take the sanction of the society. So, the first name they will give to each other is, we are lovers, then they say that lets formalize it even more and then they will say that now we are husband and wife. And the more you are formalizing it, the more names you are giving it, and the more trouble you are creating for yourself. You are thinking that all this is happening out of love. I am saying that all this is taking you out of love. You think that the relationship is born out of love, from love and I am saying that because of relationship you are moving out of love, away from love.

Have you heard that song?

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Do you understand what the poet is trying to say?

. sirf ehsaah hai ye pyaar ise rooh se mehsoos karo ,haato se chhukar ise rishtey ka naam na de